I like marriage.
It can be a painfully distorted condition.
But at its best it’s the most powerful statement a couple can make as to their mutual faith in the power of love over fear.
I’m happy for William and Katherine, royal bride and groom.
I hope they’re able to build something of sense in the nonsense of their societal context.
And therein lies the rub.
No gifts for the gifted
I wish I could doff a union jack hat
and join the Royal Wedding Party.
But I can’t. It would feel like sharing a bottle of scotch with a chronic alcoholic in order to celebrate his birthday.
Typically gifted, I can’t bring myself to support destructive behavior when it is clear before me.
And the royal wedding is emblematic of the destructive nature of the English monarchy.
To try and explain
The value of the monarchy can be challenged on four grounds, of which I think the fourth is the most significant:
- Morality. It is unfair. And even if nature is unfair that’s no reason to build unfairness into human institutions.
- Absurdity. The idea that the desired qualities of a head of state can be passed on genetically is nonsensical. Just look at your children – or your neighbor’s children – to see how different they are from their parents.
- Democracy. Democracy, a delicate flower at best, can only exist within a meritocracy. Once people are granted powerful positions by right of birth, or by association with it, any hope of democracy goes out the window.
- National wellbeing. This is the reason that drives me most powerfully. It is also the one that will probably speak loudest to other gifted individuals because we tend to be highly motivated to correct those things that we see to be causing damage.
A necessary caveat
When it comes to the English royal family it’s almost impossible to separate the people from the posts.
Calls to end the monarchy are often greeted with responses such as: “But the Queen’s a wonderful woman and does an impossible job incredibly well.”
Indeed she is and does. But it’s not a job that she should be required to do. Or her offspring.
It’s hard to look desperate when you’ve two palaces and a couple of castles to run and hide in. But the reality is that the royal family is locked into an impossible (as in non reality-based) situation by determinants way beyond its control.
And the collective English public responds in a classically co-dependent way to take care of them.
Let Wikipedia explain:
Wikipedia includes, as part of its definition of co-dependence: “It [codependency] also often involves putting one’s needs at a lower priority than others while being excessively preoccupied with the needs of others.”
The English public demeans its own needs by embracing a form of social structure in which inherited wealth and, in particular, inherited titles are recognized as being of higher social standing than real-life achievements.
This is anathema to the gifted. And, I believe, poison to all the healthy.
Bowing and scraping
The English routinely put their own healthy needs aside to maintain the fiction of the superiority of the royal family.
At royal events, powerful achievers from many domains demean themselves as they bow or curtsey to a royal person who has done nothing to earn his or her position.
The goal of a knighthood or some other royal-bestowed honor is a singular focus for legions of politicians, business-people, and even entertainers.
And this means that their behavior and their methods are constrained because in the end their actions can’t be allowed to threaten the possibility of the desired outcome.
What a neurotic and codependent way to force conformity.
What a brilliant way to ensure that nobody of real excellence or creativity will ever get close to power.
And yes, that includes you and me, fellow gifteds.
A new king at (tennis) court
People have a lot of difficulty with the idea that the monarchy is so destructive.
So here’s an analogy to try to explain how fundamental the problem is: how it ultimately distorts the psyche of every cogniscent being.
Rafael Nadal wins the men’s tennis championship at Wimbledon. As he lifts the cup over his head he proclaims:
“From now on, this cup will be won each year by me or one of my children and by one of their children thereafter down through the generations.”
The spectators cheer.
The officials nod their approval.
King Rafa is born.
And from now on into eternity the rules of the game and the reporting of the game will have to be constantly amended to keep up the appearance that King Rafael and his offspring are indeed the best fitted to be the crowned heads of Wimbledon.
- Better players will have to be persuaded to take second place or take up another game.
- Promoters will constantly have to present the Nadals as the highest tennis family in the world.
- Legions of amateur players must be taught to start seeing themselves as subjects of the tennis monarch, a personage whose athletic supremacy cannot be questioned even if s/he’s in a wheel chair.
- Millions of people must distort their thinking and build aberrations into their inner psychological architecture so as to accommodate the tennis fiction.
This is exactly what’s happened in the English game called “Head of State.”
Its ramifications are destructive from the highest family in the land to the lowest (to borrow a royal designator).
Also, though it may not seem relevant, this perverse structure threatens the integrity of everyone in the world.
Humans cannot tolerate an unlimited number of logical inconsistencies and, let’s face it, the English queen is pretty much queen for the world.
Create your context
As with all things gifted, we must develop strategies in order to remain unaffected by this massive daily absurdity.
To protect yourself, first recognize that you didn’t create this situation and that there is something you can do about changing it: http://www.republic.org.uk/
Change won’t happen fast but it’s very relieving to make a healthy assertion in the face of a suffocating national neurosis.
Then recognize that you are unique and that if you adopted the same labelling system as the royal family your uniqueness would be as obvious in your name as it is in theirs.
Not just Tom, Dick or Harry but Thomas I, Richard III and Henry VIII. One only of each.
Selling your birth . . . right
The Sachsen-Coburg und Gotha family – or the Windsors, to use their alias – have done a brilliant job of selling their birth up, making it into a luxury brand that supersedes all others.
And you can do the same. Make of your giftedness a golden crown of specialness. Be grateful for it and humble in your accepting of it. Noblesse oblige.
Too often we gifted individuals suffer so much that we become angry and resentful (Moi? Surely not!).
Instead, we can try to be gracious, recognizing that we have been given much.
Don’t let the sheer size of the world’s population defeat you. Instead of seeing yourself as lost in a crowd, or a loner outside the crowd, imagine yourself as a unique object in a collection of unique objects: an original artwork of the MaPa school.
And wait, there’s more . . .
Do the other things the royal family does.
- Epithet yourself. To differentiate yourself is to take power. I’ll be Christopher the Gifted, worthy successor to Ethelred the Unready or William the Conqueror. And happy counterpoint to dreary Edward the Confessor. When you pick your own designator make sure it feels just a litle bit ostentatious or surprising. Ivar the Boneless might not sound too terrifying (except in a Stephen King kind of way) but he was a potent Viking whom we still remember.
- Point to the Divine Right of the Gifted. This is your source of power. Put simply, it means you recognise that you are a child of the universe and it is to the universe that you owe your accountability. And no-one else.
- Publicize yourself and your message. Put: “By the grace of the universe, Gifted and Defender of the Truth” on your metaphorical coinage.
- Have a Gifted Wedding. Learn to appease the multitude – or your immediate family – with flags and geegaws while you get on with the serious business of consolidating your power.
You will not perpetuate codependency by doing these things. Unlike the poor old royal family, you have fundamental truth on your side. Truth – as in natural law – must ultimately prevail. Even when we don’t know what it is.
A toast to the happy couple
And so a toast, to send them on their way:
“Good luck to you both.
“May you have a long and happy marriage.
“And I hope you, William, will never be king and you, Kate, will never be queen.
“I hope you’re freed to head off and enjoy the billions you’ll inherit without fear of paparazzi or having to live within the constricting shell of a forced persona.
“If this happy state of affairs should come about, please recognize the debt you owe to the gifted who’ve been pushing for it for centuries. John Ball; Oliver Cromwell; Thomas Paine and all the rest.
“Set up an Institute to Promote the Interests of the Gifted.
“And I’ll forego the Baronetcy.